Wednesday, September 21, 2011

I Could. I Ought. I ... Should?

Those of you who know me well know that I am not sporty.  I exercise because genetics are unfair and Polish genes have shaped me to be innately round.  Also I like beer.  And chocolate.  Exercise is a necessity, not to be entered into for enjoyment's sake.  Many's the time I have stated my personal credo, "If I'm running somebody's chasing me."

Sure, I swing dance.  I love it, it gets my heart pumping, it makes me smile.  But that's not exercise.  It's active, without being actual exercise unless you are competitive at it or do lots of Charleston (Note to self, why don't we do more Charleston?).  I think the fact that I enjoy it is indicative that I do not consider it sport-like. 

I don't like gasping for breath.  I don't like feeling like my heart is heaving out of my chest. 

I do like the endorphins though.  Me likey lots.

No one is more surprised than myself that I would ponder a sporty activity that requires sporty training.  But I am stirred and intrigued by something a friend posted on his fbook page just for a laugh. 

A footrace to outpace/outsmart zombies. 
I thought, brilliant!  'bout time someone did this! 
I could never do it though. 
... could I? 

Here is the premise from the website:
  • Before the race, you will be given a flag belt, just like the overly intimidating game of flag football. These flags represent your health.
  • The zombies want to take your flags and maybe eat your brains.
  • If you lose all your health flags, you die. And the zombies win.
  • Health bonuses will be hidden throughout the course. If you find one and carry it to the finish, it will save your life.
There's one in Indianapolis, which isn't far. 
 5K.  To run, or not to run? 

I was on the cross country team once upon a time (, um, middle school).  I wasn't very good, but to be honest I didn't train really either.  I showed up to the practices, but I didn't actually train when I didn't have to.  I did my darndest on race day, but my darndest was pretty lousy because I never practiced.

I surmise if I did actually train, I could do a 5K.  I've done them before.  I'm older and decrepit now, sure, but you can train for one safely in just a couple of months.  The internet says so, and it never lies.  (har har) 

There are websites just for people like me, who are beginners and want to train for a 5k.  Couch to 5k is one.    And this site, which looks the same, but isn't.  There is support information for diet and training plans/schedules and podcasts and all manner of things. 

There are running clubs in Cincy.  I could find one that is kind/sympathetic to flabby/lumpy beginners.  Run with them on the weekends. 

With the addition of Bobby I'm already out and active twice a day walking him (1.5 on average, some nights D does it, some mornings I oversleep).  If I'm out anyway, and I (kinda) already jog with him anyway, its just a little more time and effort than I'm already putting in... right? 

I'm not the only one who would benefit from some jogging.  Bobby could stand some jogging.  He can be a handful if he's not been properly tired out.  There's one difficulty with jogging with Bobby though.  He darts.  Without warning he darts left or right, lunging in front of my feet, making me trip.  Exercise is not my idea of a good time, but when you add a heightened risk of face-planting into blacktop, that's not exactly a compelling case for getting in shape.  Even if its at a super-fun-looking zombie event.  

When I give him less rope to trip me up, its less of a problem.  And maybe the problem will lessen with time.  A colleague reccommended I run him with a pronged collar.  The internet tells me that I could run with him hands-free, and because he's tethered to my waist instead of my arm, I am more grounded and he is less able to pull me off balance.  Hm. 

The 5K bit, its next year.  Plenty of time to prepare. 

The obstacle bit is daunting.  Ducking and weaving, vaulting and, dare I imagine it, climbing over things?  Am I a suburban-wife version of Ninja Warrior?  Well. No.  

But I could be...  

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