And Now For Something Completely Different

Not to be an overachiever, but by January 1st I had already hit one of my resolutions.

I learned something new and did something I've never done before.  I've acquired a new skill.
  

Four-In-Hand Knot (Wikipedia)

Yes, the internet has taught me how to tie a tie.  D helped.  A little.  Mostly he fidgeted and craned his neck to see around my head in order to watch the game.   No, that's not true.  He showed me how he normally ties his knot and called it a Windsor knot. 

 According to Wikipedia, "James Bond never trusted a man who boasted a Windsor Knot; "It was tied with a Windsor knot. Bond mistrusted anyone who tied his tie with a Windsor knot. It showed too much vanity. It was often the mark of a cad."

Turns out D's knot wasn't the Windsor Knot.  My dad uses the Windsor Knot.  D has been using the Four-In-Hand knot.  So I learned that one first, and then picked one I liked better. 

Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you the Pratt Knot. 

necktiesandknots.com, not D's neck

As a woman I have never before had the need to tie a tie.  Nor do I have the need now, actually.  Also I learned something about myself.  I cannot read a tie-tying schematic to save my life.  I had to watch a video to figure it out. 

In other news, I just loaded up on new musics.  Perfect for my newest time-sink, the swing dancers' section of turntable.fm.  If you are unfamiliar, it's like a chatroom for music appreciation.  Which its quite nice just to sit and chill and listen to music with people who like what you like, and introduce yourself to new songs to love.  And it already has! 

On the Eve of the New Year

“New Year's Day - Now is the accepted time to make your regular annual good resolutions. Next week you can begin paving hell with them as usual.”  - Mark Twain

People who make resolutions for the new year get sneered at.  This is somewhat unfair to my eyes.  Sure there are those who make grandiose resolutions who take no steps towards realization.  And there are those who try to take some giant leap forward, but only take a few steps and then fall back into old, comfortable behaviors.  Superficial pronouncements about self-important intentions.

Yup.
So what?

As for myself, though, I can't knock it if someone wants to pause at a mile-marker along the road of life and try to orient themselves.  I'm one of those people who treats the end of the year as a time to take stock of their accounts.  A to-do list, if you prefer.  Or consider it my mental house-cleaning.

God, this dog reeked

Is this the right road I'm on?  Is this who the person I want to be?    

I haven't got all the answers.  What I can do, on the eve of the new year, is check the slate for this year, and then scrub it clean for next year.  

Bobby does not prefer showering to bathtime

What have I done this year?  What will I do next year? 

Have I gone somewhere I've never gone before?  Done something I've never done?

I had never before been to (nor heard of) the island of Grand Turk, and it ended up being one of the most beautiful places I've ever been.  

Governor's Beach

For our honeymoon, D & I went on a cruise, which was my first ever Relax-cation.  For me, vacation's had always been about seeing and doing as much as possible (to get my money's worth).  But the priority for the honeymoon was to relax.  I sat on the balcony staring at the ocean for what was indubitably an absurd amount of time, with nowhere to go and nothing to do, and utterly at peace. 

Loved the scooter!

Oh yes, I also got married for the first time.  Bought a home for the first time.  

Adopted a dog for the first time. 

Sit Pretty, Bobby!

 

Did I challenge myself? 

Not as often as I might have.   I completed some freelance contracts at night while working my day job to earn extra money for the wedding.  I organized a swing dance event. Tried my hand at dj-ing. 

Did I meet new people?  Make new friends?

Ahh.... not really.  Despite my best intentions. 

 

When we took Bobby to meet the parents' dogs, I wouldn't have bet on him warming the cockles of Tasha's grumpy heart, but darned if he didn't!

What were my goals for this past year? 

Ummm.... well I'm sure I had some.  Can't properly remember .... I think they mostly consisted of things such as:  Survive Wedding.  Remove Asbestos from Basement.  (Win) 

I think I wanted to experiment more in my dancing.  I wanted to strengthen my workout regimen.  (1 out of 2)

And next year?  

Just like this year, I don't want to take life for granted.  It's short enough, and I don't just want to coast on through it.  

as always, Go somewhere I've never been before

I'd been trying to talk D into going to either New Orleans or Seattle next year.  He was born in Seattle, but I've never been there.  I have an ulterior motive.  A swing dance motive.  Fleur de Lindy in New Orleans is during the Quarter Jazz Fest, and the Seattle Lindy Exchange is right around the time the Seahawks should be having some preseason games. Win-Win, I thought. 

But it looks like we may be doing neither.  

D's brother-in-law is stationed in Budapest.  

Not that we have the money to go to Budapest.  

Who does?

But still, we may end up going to Budapest. 

Do something I've never done before

I hope to hit some Lindy events I've never attended before.  And re-live some old favorites too.

I hope to succeed in my attempt to epoxy some freeze-line cracks in the basement.  

I hope to aggressively and defensively garden in our groundhog and deer infested neighborhood.  

 Make new friends, and appreciate the old

Doggy has cemented feline solidarity

.... or not

  

I hope the coming year is kind to you,  

And that you share the warmth and goodwill that await you.  

*mwah.

On Motivation

Motivation is the key to things getting done.  Or is it enthusiasm? 

Things can get done with no enthusiasm at all, but motivation?  When you don't have it, things usually don't get done.  Motivation is what keeps your bills paid on time, laundered clothing in drawers, it keeps friendships alive and hobbies current.  It is the freshly scrubbed sister to that pig-pen: Procrastination.  And of those two, everyone has their favorite child.  Mine personally depends on what day it is.

I love you, tree

Motivation takes many forms, often a simple matter of penalty-avoidance.  All of the old growth trees on our block have nearly finished dumping their colorful armloads, and we noticed suddenly that we were practically the last house on the block to rake off the crunchy mess. 

Motivation :  Negative-Neighbor-Cred Avoidance

Enthusiasm:  Doggie Has It

Sunday at the homestead, we raked up five giant bags of leaves.  From the front yard.  And we ran out of bags, so we mowed up the rest.  The back yard?  Please.  

Spirit Of Teamwork :  Doggie Totally Thinks We are Playing with Him

I also worked in the garden, and managed to retrieve Max, who had somehow escaped into the outdoors, panicked, hidden underneath the deck, and refused to come out.  I did all the laundry, put it away, picked up our den of slobbery bedroom.  I hemmed a pair of pants.  I realized I hemmed the second leg inside out, tore out the stiching while bitterly complaining, and re-hemmed the second leg.   

This all rode in to O-Town on the coattails of motivation to do one task: yardwork.  I think for most people, motivation is something that expands within pre-set boundaries.  Something like achievement set to yardsticks.  Maybe I'm weird that way, because I hadn't intended to hem or straighten that day, and yet I was being productive anyway.  I was super-unenthusiastic about hemming pantlegs, and yet I was motivated to do it.  I seemed to be thinking, I may as well just ride out the productivity.  And its funny how motivation can be like that.  Also procrastination, now that I think about it. 

I've been dealing with motivation and enthusiasm in other aspects of my life.  Enthusiasm is like water, it's eager to fill any space you give it.  It pours into cracks and breaks apart stone (-ey faced apathy).  Whereas enthusiastic people aren't always helpful, at least enthusiasm can be catching.  Their enthusiasm might jumpstart your enthusiasm.  But if helpful people aren't enthusiastic, you might not get anything out of them, or worse, they may suck your enthusiasm dry.  This is where I was for awhile. 

When I really decide I want something or want to do something-- while capable of taking constructive criticisms-- if my reasoning is sound, generally it gets done.  When I decided to go live in Japan when I was 18, I pretended to ask my parents but when they said no I told them I was going anyway.  Not in a cheeky way, but my mind had been made up.  Ask D.  Recently, I was motivated to affect a change.  Nothing altruistic or anything, I'm not changing the world.  Just accomplishing certain of my goals by way of establishing a project.  A small thing, but nonetheless a project I strongly believe to be a worthwhile endeavor.  But my enthusiasm got rubbed off when my thoughts and efforts were met with negativity.  Not objection really, more like cynical apathy.  And even though people weren't actively standing in my way, with every piece of cynical feedback, I felt more of my enthusiasm drain away. It felt like they were counting off reasons that they expected me to fail.  I kept at it.  Like I said, worthwhile endeavor and all that.  But my enthusiasm had dried up.  

On the flip side, D and I recently learned that on the precise weekend of the RunForYourLives 5k, we will be going to a wedding.  As you know, that had been the impetus to my couch-to-5k aspirations.  My motivation gone, my enthusiasm crashed into the basement, and I haven't run for over two weeks.  What for?  I had gotten a group of our friends excited about it, and we were all going to look for excuses to train together.  Go rock climbing at an indoor wall, etc.  Chase eachother through an open field like dogs and bunnies.  Or, you know, zombies and survivors.  And it was not idle talk.  I had paid.      

It's funny, but I couldn't tell you why the motivation stayed when the enthusiasm didn't.  Or, in the other case, why the enthusiasm to train didn't stick around when the motivation vanished.  D is trying to sell me on trying to transfer our entry fees to a different race on a different day.  Not so sure about that.  I could use the exercise, its true.  And I liked how I felt after a morning run.  (not how I felt trying to get out of bed early enought to do a morning run, though)  But running as its own goal?  ehhhh....

And the project?  We're midstream now, and I've sold some aspect to people who support it.  I'm trying to lead by example (not that being a leader is my goal).  I got some attention though, and more people are talking about steps and changes.  Well, its too soon to tell.  And, for whatever reason, enthusiasm is slowly returning.  Maybe its something to do with the saying, "whatever is worth doing is worth doing well."  Or something hideously more cliche, "be part of the solution."  I guess what has come about (without my consciously knowing about it), is that I have been evaluating what it is that I have a stake in and then owning that.  Now I'm at the part where I make things happen. 

"You must be the change that you want to see"  Ghandi

So... yeah.  That's what's been on my mind.